St. Neotian Fensign Readings

by Erial

March 2002

Hedgehog

There is a over cast aspect to your puddle this month.Libra can barely been seen in the second house and aquila is having a hard time ascending. There is also a bubble gum wrapper and a half a dead worm, which indicates that you may soon have a problem with your chosen mode of transport. Before anything major falls off it, I suggest you whip it in for a quick look see and an oil change or you could be relying on public transport a lot and eating beans on toast to pay for the repairs. 

Badger

I see a perfect opportunity this month for you to keep your nose out of someone else's business. You might think you are helping, but all you are doing is prolonging the inevitable climactic fight that is going to follow. If you steer clear of this issue ( and I think you know what I am talking about) you stand a very good chance of being able to come out of it unscathed. Work place romances very rarely end well and when the boss finds out you knew about it all along, it doesn't bode well for that promotion. Shuffle papers. look briskly efficient and don't get caught in the break room alone with either of the star struck lovers.

Pigeon

Ah, caution should be your watch word ( not that you will listen) I see an eventful month coming up with a lot of juggling going on with your finances and your time. I strongly suggest that you treat the first three weeks of this month as if you were totally skint, hoard every penny in that place you think no one knows about and resist the temptation to treat yourself to any new toys. The first thing to require your hard saved funds will be a kitchen appliance ( check your smoke detector today) the second will be something with wheels and the third is obscured by thick black smoke, but smells very expensive. 

Squirrel

Ah, I see you kept your nuts nice and safe throughout the long winter months. Someone is going to approach you this month asking if they can borrow some of your well accumulated nest egg. Normally the answer would be bwahaha, but I advise you to generously offer to help out in any way you can as this person ( a needy and desperate Woodpecker) has contacts in the town who may come in very useful. Look upon the loan as a "Get out of jail Free" card for the future. You can't buy loyalty, but you can purchase something very similar when you are still holding the I.O.U note.

Aardvark

I see the faintest glimmer of cetus in your tarn, overshadowed by Lupus. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your jeans are not shrinking in the wash and the water really is having a big problem draining past you when you pull the plug in the bath. Stop blaming others for messing around with your bathroom scales. You are not big boned, no matter what your mum says. Get an energetic weasel to help you stick to your diet and try hard to start some kind of exercise routine ( running for last call at the chippy doesn't count) Lucky colors; orange, green and yellow. 

Deer

Are you still sulking over that trivial comment made in the pub a few weeks ago? I can see by the duck feather and the cola can that you took it all to much to heart and are harboring a secret grudge against the two people ( a Beaver Beast and a Woodpecker) who were gaining such amusement over your discomfort. Well never fear, a window of opportunity is opening for you in the next few weeks to get your own back. You can either take your revenge in one fell swoop ( satisfying but over too quickly) or you can pace yourself and have months of paranoia and fun at their expense. 

Lobster

Well, I hope you are feeling ashamed of yourself ( although I see by the murky bottom of your pool you are not) I cannot go into details because there may be young visitors to this page, but you know exactly what I am talking about. Not getting caught has made you very smug, but I think you were forgetting the camera to the left of your little display of "at oneness with nature". The boys and girls at Pathfinder house have requested that in the future when you decide to cavort as nature made you, would you please do it where they can't see you. Lucky colors; anything except blue tinged flesh tones.

Woodpecker

Ah, so you are the one that has been widdling in the tarns then? I wondered who it was. I would really appreciate it if you could either go before you stagger home from the pub or just cross your legs and waddle. This influx of extra moisture has made your reading almost impossible to discern but I can tell you this for free, in another couple off weeks, after your little Friday night jaunt to your local, you may find yourself up to your ears in nettles with you knees up by your chin and your dignity on display for a coach of passing Japanese tourists. I have been training my duck to poop on that side of the tarn.

Owl

Well, well, you are a bit of a dark horse. I would never have thought your mind worked that way, but live and let live as I always say and as long as you can do it without getting caught, I am sure they won't be any long term side effects. Just be aware that others in your social circle are not going to see this whirl wind romance in quite the same heady way you will. All the giggling and snickering is not because they are jealous. It is because they are trying desperately not to laugh in your face. Are you sure this is someone who should be allowed to splash in your families gene pool?

Fox

Financial worries seem about to come to an end for you soon. A stranger will offer you a considerable sum of money for doing something that seems harmless and totally legal. Wake up!! If it was that easy, wouldn't everyone be doing it? Ask around and scrutinize this offer very carefully before agreeing or you could end up with a kitchen full of mail order items,a bath tub full of pre-paid envelopes and a mouth so dry a camel wouldn't give you mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. 

Toad

Puddle murky, bottom silty and effervescence zero. Could it be that there is something on your mind? Could it be that you might just need a little help with something, but are not sure who to ask? Although it will seem a huge problem to you, the professionals see this kind of thing all the time ( well, maybe not exactly the same, to be sure, but similar anyway) Do not seek the reassurance of your old pal the worldly Hedgehog, they will not be able to control the urge to blab it all over town. Instead, put some calamine lotion on it ( wear gloves) and make an appointment to see a doctor, who ( once he has gotten over his initial shock) will recommend a course of antibiotics and that you avoid communal sporting activities for a while.

Weasle

Your tarn is fairly shallow, and the bottom has a greenish cast. Okay, so you look fabulous darling, you have abs like a washboard and everyone thinks you look stunning. However, you are getting a bit, how shall we say? BORING. No one wants to know the calorific content of a single green pea or how many fat cells you can destroy walking up the stairs backwards. Beautiful people think no-one talks to them because they are intimidated by their beauty. FALSE. No-one talks to them because they salivate when you are eating a breath mint and recite everything they have eaten for the last week and a half like a mantra. Eat a box of chocolates, drink some fattening sodas and forget the gym for a week, it will do you good. 

Beaver Beast

This is going to be a hectic month where you will be juggling a lot, both at home and at play. Don't get the two confused and steer clear of work mates who want to see you socially. This might seem like a good idea, you like them and they like you, but you have, how shall we say, an "eclectic" sense of the bizarre when it comes to interior decor and not everyone is ready for the dungeon and whiplash look. The boss might not be impressed to find you are moonlighting either; cash in hand for "helping" the lost, confused and lonely with their personal problems ( even if you do see it as a service to society) is not exactly something you can put on your next resume, now is it?

Erial may be contacted at erial@st-neots.co.uk