St. Neotian Fensign Readings

by Erial

January 2002

Hedgehog

I see your pool is flooded and murky with traces of tinsel and a cheap plastic wine cork. From all accounts your Christmas went with a bang and I hope for your families sake that the photos of your New Years Eve Madonna impersonations never ever make it out onto the Internet. This month is going to throw a lot of challenges at you, but it is nothing you can't deal with if you keep your head and aim for a balanced view point. Delegate as much as possible to others, this will ensure that you can neatly skip out of the way when the blame gets handed out. Lucky color; yellow. Lucky day; Friday.

Badger

I see a coming together of like minded friends united for a specific cause. Unfortunately, you are the intended target for this little soiree and should regard them all like villagers brandishing pitch forks and blazing torches. They may have your well being at heart, but you are quite happy as you are and will not welcome their well meaning attempts to turn you into a better person. Shun their advice and bolt to the hills. You are quite happy as you are, just a bit misunderstood at times. Avoid ice flows and be careful plugging in electrical equipment.

Pigeon

Pavo is descending whilst Crux arises. You feel a little let down by recent events and a bit depressed by it all. You may be suffering because of the lack of sunlight. Take a week off of work ( sound truly dreadful when you call in, they will believe you; there's a lot of it about, you know) and invest in some sun bed treatments. When you go back to work, tell every one that you had a rare virus that meant you could only be treated at an experimental hospital in Crete. You should be able to bask in the radiated jealousy and envy until March. Encourage a friendship with a Pathetic Weasel, they own a sun bed which will enable you to save money and buy some nice new clothes to show off that tan. 

Squirrel

This month I discern a faint whiff of pheromones in your puddle and Venus is hanging around far longer than usual in the third house. This month will see you being totally irresistible to the opposite sex and in one rare occurrence to a temperamental, artistic Aardvark of the same gender. You will exude charm and sensuality and will have an animal magnetism which will bring 'em flocking to your door. I see two choices before you; you can either be like a child in a sweetie shop and wind up with nothing in your pockets, an ache inside you and some kind of itchy rash or you can play hard to get and perhaps end up with more than just a fist full of memories. Tip; avoid Jaw Breakers, Gob Stoppers and any thing with licorice.

Aardvark

You feel a golden opportunity is just around the corner for you financially. Be aware however that someone else will be determined to spoil your cunning plans and will come up with a myriad of reasons for you to not participate. You will try to justify yourself, but you are going to be wasting your breath. They do have a point though, it is illegal, chances are you will get caught and it's not exactly the kind of thing you will want to stand up in court for. Think carefully before committing to this scheme and seek the guidance of a Wise Owl. Unlucky number 999, unlucky object; flat battery in the get away car.

Deer

It might be an idea to stay out of the limelight this month and avoid the temptation to go boasting about your happy life. Jealous eyes are watching and will use every tool in their arsenal to burst your shiny pink balloon. Try to remember someone who may have a reason to feel vengeful towards you and attempt to make amends with this shallow minded imbecile before you plan your revenge. If you are sneaky enough, they won't even see it coming until it is too late. Wash all fruit carefully and avoid communal cutlery.

Lobster

There is a surprisingly shallow note to your tarn this month and a scattering of beech bark. Someone in your social circle is going to find themselves in a lot of hot water this month when certain revelations hit the fan. Consider the matter very carefully before launching yourself in their defense as there may be a a very large grain of truth in the accusations. There is actually photographic evidence being passed around certain circles at work. Butter up a Bashful Deer for the truth or you could be clawing yourself out of the frying pan too. Avoid the color red, it is not good for your aura, and be sure to be seen donating to charity this month.

Woodpecker

Murky and sullied is the only description I can think to bring to your sign this month. Personally I feel this has less to do with the condition of the water and more to do with the state of your mind. Yes, you are funny and amusing and people are always glad to see you at gatherings. The truth is that while you are around, they can't very well be the worse behaved at the venue. This month pay heed, you are being watched carefully by someone who has the power to take you to a new level at work. So stow the joke about the lobster and the lighter and decline any invitations that involve using silver wear in the correct order.

Owl

I see Mira and Rigel partially shadowed by a strand of duck weed and a used Swan Vesta, which indicated you have a furtive secret you are gloating over. You are planning to tell select friends about the incident in order to make yourself look good, but you are going to look quite the fool when the truth gets out as she really was choking on a peanut and he really was performing CPR. They were in that position because she had her hair caught on his cufflink. Your best bet it to just keep your trap firmly shut and to deny you were anywhere near the kitchen when the incident occurred. Lucky number; Three, lucky color; White.

Fox

So you and Chuckles bonded on New Years Eve then, eh? I hope you now realize the dangers of drinking Germanic beverages on an empty stomach while retelling your life story to a slobbering dog under the kitchen table. Be of good cheer though, the rumors will soon die down and please believe me Chuckles is quite as ashamed of the whole thing as you are. Be aware that there is an icy patch right about where you will park the car on the 15th. Caution ( and balance) should be your key words this month.

Toad

There is a single duck feather hiding under Vela at the edge of your pool in the fourth house. This month will be an excellent one for your artistic Muse and you should allow your pent up feelings to flow. Be creative, be spontaneous and wear long flowing garb in which you can dance in joyous abandon when the mood strikes you. Avoid restrictive clothing at all costs and remember, elastic is your friend. You will feel very in touch with Mother Earth and should dedicate your first paint by numbers to a dear friend who will understand the difficulty of getting the kittens ears to match and your apparent inability to read simple instructions. Lucky color; fuchsia.

Weasle

Your tarn is relatively free of accumulated debris, which indicates you are attempting to live up to your New Years Eve resolutions. I see that there will be people around you who will not support you at this trying time and you should cast a suspicious eye over their reasons for being so inconsiderate and so condescending. Once you realize they are just trying to pull you down to their level ( i.e. they are all scared you will look great when you have lost that spare tire ) the anger inside you will burn more calories than the tread mill ever could. Lucky colors; anything named after a fruit.

Beaver Beast

Virgo is peering shyly over your cusp, but beware, Lupus is on the rise. Well, you were a regular little cracker last month I see. No one could accuse you of letting the snow build under your sleigh, eh? Now all you have to do is pick and choose the one you stick with. Small word of advice; not everything looks quite as exciting once you get through the fancy paper and the gold bows. Sometimes the nicest things come wrapped in yesterdays newspaper and tied up with bits of string. Do not be fooled by the wrapping, OK? Lucky color; newsprint black, lucky number; 27, lucky place; the bedroom...................

Erial may be contacted at erial@st-neots.co.uk