St. Neotian Fensign Readings

by Erial

August 2001

Hmm, auspicious aura around your tarn this month. A chance will come for you to have both fortune and fame, but you must decide if you can really handle the press and publicity. Before the phone rings, decide; Does the world really need to know about my affairs with the rich and famous? Will I still be able to hold my head up in Waitrose if I go public? Is Jerry Springer really the right outlet for my emotions? Beware small chirpy Toads with microphones and greedy Lobsters with video cameras.  

Fortune smiles on your pool ( according to Corvus in the 5th House and Mercury descending, anyway) You will find some money hidden down the back of the Chat Room couch ( beyond the Twiglets and general fluffy bits) At first you will think it is worthless, as it appears to be non-legal tender, BUT these notes can be exchanged for merchandise at "Ye Olde Gifte Shoppe" up at Mouseburger Hall. Bulk buy on items like tea towels as Christmas presents. ( buy 4 - 5th one FREE!)

I see a small disagreement over a trivial matter resulting in chaos and a major problem with a traffic warden. Check and double check where you park this month, and go to the extent of actually moving your vehicle if you are not 100% sure of your position. It may take a bit more time and effort, but blocking in the traffic wardens car ( green Ford Escort, " 97 ) when she has a hot date lined up and 30 minutes to get home, shower, change and be at "Charlies" may not be be a good thing. Pacify small quarrelsome Beaver Beasts wearing hats and carrying clip boards.

Hmmm......there is a distinct union between Ursa and Alphard, and a murky density to your tarn. Beware your inner voice this month as your psychic connection has a loose wire. You will feel compelled to spend time in the company of someone who appears to be a charming and witty Owl, but in truth they are nothing but a low down, underhanded Pigeon. Wait until the end of the month before making solid financial plans concerning this two-faced scoundrel and beware "get rich schemes that can't fail."

Ahh, finally a bit of peace and quiet in your puddle. You have been racing in ever decreasing circles here recently, trying to catch up with backlogs at work and home, not to mention overdue library books. It is time to sit back, take a deep breath and let someone else worry about it. Delegate the tasks to the one around you who constantly mocks your attempts to keep abreast of the situation. You know which one I mean. Then sit back, relax and watch the show. It will be quite entertaining. Be condescendingly patient with harassed Badgers trying to do multi-tasking with only one set of hands.

Very shallow and placid pool this month. I see a time of reflection and personal growth for you. As you gaze into the mirror, come to terms with the fact that your top really is a size too small now and those jeans really didn't shrink in the wash. It is time to re-evaluate, get your life into a higher gear and finally make an effort to re-define your physical shape. On the other hand, you could find inner peace, loving and accepting the way your body has chosen to be, embracing and cherishing your cholesterol and your cellulite ( if you can get your arms round it, that is........) Beware tall, thin aerobic Weasels with pony tails and mountain bikes.

An auspicious glimmer in your puddle this month reveals a strong inner desire to be in charge. You will feel imbibed with great leadership qualities and the desire to push yourself to the forefront of any given situation will be almost unstoppable. However, a word of caution; being first does not always mean being best. It may be better for you to restrain yourself and take a good long look at the situation first. Let others throw themselves like lemmings, you just sit back and learn from their mistakes. Then, once you have re-evaluated the situation, by all means, have at. Beware pushy little deer who stand behind you in board meetings. 

Remember your friend the sarcastic Lobster? You lent him some money when he was a bit strapped for cash? In your tarn, I see that this borrowing friend invested it in a very dodgy deal which has now paid off in the millions!! Be careful how you approach for repayment though, as the police still have the place staked out until they can figure where the loot and the bodies are buried. It may be wise to go through a third party, such as a courageous Pigeon or a cautious Toad. 

Fashion is not your forte this month. Refuse to listen to tall, thin Beaver Beasts on morning TV, you are defiantly not the body type for that metallic sparkling all in one jump suit, no matter how much you like the rhinestones. Also, that hair style you thought would look good on you? Unless you actually like small children and horses acting like that when you appear, it's a definite no-no. In fact, your fashion sense is so mis-guided at the moment that unless you can afford a personal valet, just stay in the house and don't answer the door, OK? Seek the guidance of a perceptive Weasel, they will steer you in the right direction. ( I hope.......)

Finances will be in a bit of a shambles this month ( according the the tree bark fragments and lack of discernable depth) and you should be thrifty.  However, you have forgotten someone's birthday. They will be quite content with a home made card and a well chosen inexpensive gift, but you must make the effort. So get out the glue, the coloured paper and the scissors and get to it. Seek out the advice of an artistic Owl, they have a million ideas and will help you make the perfect present. 

Sometimes Fate just knocks on your door and hands you a million quid, just 'cos she likes the look of your face. Unfortunately, in your case, Fate can't read a road map worth a bugger and the million quid is now in the hands of some undeserving lout who lives around the corner from you. Ah well, can't win 'em all. Just don't rely on Lady Luck ( Fate's twin sister) to be any better at directions. This month, have a go at making your own luck and you might just surprise yourself. Seek out optimistic Foxes and charismatic Beaver Beasts.

I know something you don't know ( unless you can read the various aspects of the tarns) You told a little lie last month in order to save face with someone. That little lie has now circulated and has grown bigger with every telling, this month someone will innocently ask you for photographic evidence, which you obviously cannot provide. You have a choice. Either fess up and treat the whole thing as a stupid joke, with only minimal loss of "face" or figure out how you are going to fake the pictures and not get caught. 

Beaver Beast

Mira is in a prominent position with Orion descending. There is also new mown grass and an oily sheen on the surface. I caution you to be wary of someone asking for personal information in the Chat Room. This person may appear to be harmless, but is in fact the last crew member of an alien intelligence who's ship crashed three months ago. They are looking for a replacement body to inhabit until their rescue party arrives. Your only clue is that they will constantly ask you how old you are, as they want a young and healthy specimen. Cynical Lobsters will make you feel secure, unless they ask for your blood type..................

Erial may be contacted at erial@st-neots.co.uk